Fellow Golfers. This is the Birdie Banter. Your golf newsletter that brings you the latest gossip news from the first tee box.

Let's take a swing at what's on our tee today

• Tee Time - LIV & PGA & DP Merge

• Putting Predictions - PGA Canadian Open & LIVGolf Tour London

• Meme of the week

Tee Time - Golf’s Newest Love Island Triangle

Well, folks, gather 'round! In a plot twist you couldn't find outside a Hollywood screenplay, Saudi Arabia has taken a fancy to golf and decided to dive in with all the grace of a rhinoceros doing a cannonball. After dropping a cool couple of billion dollars, they've effectively bought the golfing world as we know it. Guess they didn't fancy the sand traps back home enough! And so how did everyone in the golf world react?

That's right, folks, the LIV Golf Series, PGA Tour, and DP World Tour are all coming together like one big, happy (and filthy rich) family. Seems like Phil Mickelson of LIV is thrilled, calling the move "awesome." I guess the smell of money can indeed be intoxicating!

The deal means the 'defectors' who joined the LIV, like our pals Mickelson, Dustin Johnson, and Cameron Smith, can now tiptoe back into the PGA and DP World Tours without fear of being booed off the tee box. And as for those antitrust lawsuits? Swept under the fairway like an unruly divot.

The parties involved tell us it's all about bringing together the "game's best players" for maximum "excitement and competition." Or in other words, this is a sandbox big enough for everyone to play in... provided you've got the billion-dollar backing, of course!

Jay Monahan, the PGA Tour’s commissioner, who was previously as friendly towards LIV as a squirrel is to a lawnmower, now speaks of "unifying the game of golf." Nothing like the sight of a full bank account to bring about a change of heart!

Our man Keith Pelley of the DP World Tour is similarly enthusiastic, saying it's an "unbelievable, momentous day." Indeed, it's a great day to be a billionaire with a penchant for golf, wouldn't you say?

Yet, amid all these mulligans, our dear friend Greg Norman seems to be the provisional golf ball lost in the rough. The LIV commissioner's name was conspicuously absent from the press release. Could this mean Norman’s LIV association is about to find itself in the hazard? I guess we’ll have to wait and see.

So, there you have it folks, golf's newest love triangle. And with the added bonus of Saudi Arabia's big fat wallet, we're sure to see some extravagant displays of golf like never before. Just remember to keep your eyes on the game and not the dollar signs, will ya?

Putting Predictions

PGA Canadian Open

Ah, behold the grand spectacle of our time! After the glorious unveiling of the latest batch of dazzling playthings, we now prepare ourselves for a riveting exhibition—the RBC Canadian Open. And what a spectacle it shall be, featuring a pair of freshly anointed professionals, Ludvig Åberg and Sam Bennett. But hold on to your hats, my dear spectators, for there's a twist to this tale—it's not a fresh test at all!

Enter the mighty Oakdale Golf & Country Club, an ancient relic on the verge of celebrating its centennial. Despite its seasoned existence, this aging establishment has been chosen as the esteemed host for Canada's national championship for the very first time. Oh, but fret not, my friends, for this is just the beginning of a long and prosperous partnership.

Power Rankings

All eyes are on Canada's top-ranked talent, standing proudly at 29th in the OWGR. Expectations soar as he carries the burden of ending the native drought in the national championship. With his unmatched ball-striking skills on an unfamiliar course, the pressure is undeniably fair. The stage is set for a golfing spectacle like no other!

The owner of one of the highest floors in golf at this very moment! He impressively sandwiches two fives between five consecutive top 20 finishes since Harbour Town. Just three months ago, the brilliant Brit soared from T4 to a glorious 2nd place from Bay Hill to TPC Sawgrass. Such consistency and talent leave us in utter awe. The golfing world eagerly awaits his next mesmerizing performance!

Hold your breath as the two-time defending champion ventures where others have failed before! Despite hiccups, he secured impressive T7 finishes at Oak Hill and Muirfield Village. The pursuit becomes even more enticing as he strives to achieve the impossible. Oh, the suspense!

The Birdman’s Pick

Our esteemed veteran ball-striker finds himself on Oakdale's cherished shortlist. And there's more! This 42-year-old sensation has been soaring up the ranks, currently sitting at a splendid 28th in the OWGR. With four consecutive top 25 finishes upon arrival and a fantastic T9-T12 in the last two, his golfing prowess knows no bounds. Prepare to witness greatness unfold!

LIV Golf Tour - London

Get ready to witness the grand gathering of golfing titans in the enchanting city of Newcastle! The renowned Close House will play host to the prestigious International Series England, with a staggering $2 million prize dangling like a juicy carrot for the players to chase from August 17-20. Leading this illustrious pack is none other than Lee Westwood, the former world number one, who boasts an impressive 44 career victories, including eight on the Asian Tour. Despite being a proud Worksop native and a die-hard Nottingham Forest FC fan, Westwood has developed a curious affinity for the region, solidifying his bond with Close House as their cherished tour professional.

With an air of self-importance, Westwood states, "Playing in front of a home crowd is an unparalleled experience, let me assure you." Ah, the buzz of local excitement is palpable, dear spectators, as rumors swirl around the confirmed players list. Westwood adds, "The people of Northumbria have wholeheartedly embraced me since I set up residence here, and their unrivaled passion for sports will infuse the tournament week with an electric atmosphere."

Joining Westwood on this golfing extravaganza are luminaries like Patrick Reed, the illustrious 2018 Masters champion, Graeme McDowell, who conquered the 2010 U.S. Open, and Abraham Ancer, fresh from his triumph in the PIF Saudi International this year. These fine gentlemen, with their modest achievements, seek to etch their names even deeper into the illustrious history of golf.

Let us not forget the captivating tale of Anirban Lahiri, returning for his second appearance in the International Series this year after a remarkable runner-up finish in Vietnam. And how could we overlook the Vincent brothers: Kieran, the victor of the previous event, and Scott, who secured his place in the 2023 LIV Golf League through sheer merit by topping The International Series 2022 Order of Merit (OOM). Oh, the drama, the suspense, the narratives intertwining!

The stage is set, my friends. This event at Close House, marking the midway point of The International Series 2023 season, is a pivotal moment for these gifted athletes. It's their chance to climb the treacherous ladder of fame and fortune, to rise above their peers. And looming over them all is the imposing figure of Andy Ogletree, the current leader of the International Series OOM, who must now brace himself for the fierce onslaught of competitors aiming to snatch his crown.

Prepare yourselves, golf enthusiasts, for a spectacle that will quicken your pulses and set your hearts ablaze. The International Series England beckons, promising a riveting display of skill, ambition, and the eternal pursuit of that coveted prize. Let the battle begin!

Hold your breath and witness the unparalleled talent of former world number one, Lee Westwood! Prepare to be astounded as he consistently falls outside the top 30 in 4 out of 5 competitions. Oh, how he adores "live Crowds," but his true swing is for his bank account. Retirement odds surpass his chances of success in London. It's time for him to bid adieu to the greens or hope for a miracle. Lee Westwood, the golfer who swings for money, not fame.

Reed, a member of 4 Aces GC, has earned the grand title of "Captain America" for his Ryder Cup triumphs. He seized the 36-hole lead and clenched victory at the 2018 Masters. With consistent top-10 finishes in all four Majors, he's a force to be reckoned with. In the 2022 LIV Golf Invitational Series, Reed showcased his brilliance with multiple top-five finishes and a fourth-place ranking. Prepare to be dazzled by his golfing prowess!

The Birdman’s Pick

Behold the legendary Twitter aficionado himself! Phil Mickelson, a World Golf Hall of Famer, boasts an impressive 57 career wins, including six majestic majors, three of which were Masters victories. At the age of 50, he defied time and claimed his second PGA Championship title, becoming the oldest major winner. With a magical short game and over 25 years in the world's top 50, Mickelson is adored wherever he goes. A true golfing icon, both on and off the greens!

Meme of the Week

And so, fellow fairway fanatics, as our golf escapades come to a close, let's take a moment to channel our inner Birdman, flap our wings, and soar into the sunset. Remember, keep your head down, swing easy, and don't forget to replace your divots.

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The Birdman